


as strong as you were (tender you go)

by seekrest



Series: IronDad Bingo [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: (But I think I made it worse), Angst, Car Accidents, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Deserves Better, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, this is a sad one bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23020054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: Peter laughed as MJ fiddled with the radio, Ned leaning forward.“MJ, you’re not going to find a different song from the same station within seconds of—““Cool it, Leeds. Shotgun gets radio privileges.” Ned sighed, Peter putting his turn signal on as he switched lanes.The rain outside was quiet, steady in a way that would almost lull him to sleep.But Peter was antsy, almost feeling anxious with anticipation, as if he was doing something wrong even if it was just a surprise.—IronDad Bingo: Major Character Death
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: IronDad Bingo [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652680
Comments: 32
Kudos: 244





	as strong as you were (tender you go)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Who Lives, Who Dies (Who Tells Your Story)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20483087) by [seekrest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest). 



Peter laughed as MJ fiddled with the radio, Ned leaning forward.

“MJ, you’re not going to find a different song from the same station within seconds of—“

“Cool it, Leeds. Shotgun gets radio privileges.” Ned sighed, Peter putting his turn signal on as he switched lanes.

The rain outside was quiet, steady in a way that would almost lull him to sleep. 

But Peter was antsy, feeling anxious with anticipation, as if he was doing something wrong even if it was just a surprise. 

He knew May didn’t care if he took the car, especially on weekends when she ended up staying over at Happy’s more often than not. 

Peter still wasn’t completely used to the idea of the two of them together, but if they wanted to spend time together at Happy’s apartment - with no risk of Peter walking in on something that would scar him for life - he was more than okay with that.

 _I’ll have to text her when we get there, let her know I have the car,_ he thinks - tightening his grip on the steering wheel. 

Peter knew Happy picked May up from work on Friday nights anyways since that was usually their date night. 

Peter didn’t mind - May seemed happy to let him hang out with MJ on Fridays too, though how long she’d be okay with the arrangement - especially with school starting again soon - remained to be seen.

Their banter brings him out of his thoughts as Ned says, “Peter, your _girlfriend_ is hogging the radio.”

MJ makes a face. “Pete, your _boyfriend_ needs to calm down.”

Ned scoffs as Peter laughs again. 

“Don’t make me turn this car around.” He jokes, catching her eye roll. 

“Like that’ll happen. You sure Stark’s okay with us just, dropping by? What if he and Pepper have some kind of plans?”

Ned interjects, leaning forward again as he says, “Mr. Stark’ll be thrilled to see us, he loves Peter and by default, me. And you.” He sighs dramatically. “I for one am very much looking forward to seeing the cabin. Since I didn’t get to see it _last time_.”

“Ned—“ Peter begins, only to be caught off. 

“No, it’s fine, Peter. I see how it is, you get a girlfriend and suddenly you forget your best friend.” 

MJ laughs, Peter catching the smile on Ned’s face from the rear view mirror.

“Please. You know damn well that if Peter had to choose between the two of us, he’d choose _you_.”

“MJ, I think you seriously underestimate the almost embarrassing length of time that Peter had a crush on you.”

As the two of them playfully bicker, Peter just laughs again - eyes going back to the road as a familiar itch in the back of his neck starts to flare.

There was danger coming, like something was wrong. But aside from light rain - more of a drizzle - there didn’t seem to be anything wrong on the dark road ahead.

Peter glances behind him before switching lanes again, turning on to the highway that would lead him to Tony’s, a drive he knew like the back of his hand.

Tony had been ecstatic when Peter finally got his license, a nightmare of paperwork made worse by the Blip.

But after it was done, Peter no longer had any issues or problems in making it up to the cabin to visit - something he had done often this past summer.

* * *

“Kid, you got the hotdogs?”

“I got the hotdogs _and_ Morgan?” Tony looked back to the two of them, laughing as he saw Peter hold a platter of food in one hand and had Morgan in a football hold in the other.

“You alright there Morguna?”

“I’m a rocketship!” She squeals, Peter laughing as Tony grinned.

“Yeah, kid you’re a rocket ship.” Tony’s eyes gleamed as he walked ahead, Peter smiling at the sight.

It was nice to be at the cabin, a reminder for Peter that even if the entire world had changed - Tony’s included - that there was still a place for him, still a place where he belonged. 

The long nights waiting in the medbay, wishing and pleading for Tony to recover from a snap that had saved the universe was all in the past now, Peter glancing to Tony’s new mechanical arm as he walked ahead of them. 

It was one of the many changes that Peter would have live with, another normal he’d have to adjust to. 

But considering he’d been dead for the past five years - or whatever those who had been Blipped could officially count themselves - Peter had a lot to catch up on. 

There was the usual things, the chaos of moving and switching apartments - adjusting to a city that hadn’t grown beyond tragedy but around it. 

Peter was at least thankful that they hadn’t had to deal with school - for now, at least. He was excited to get back into it, excited to learn more about what he’d missed. 

But Peter couldn’t lie - he knew he’d miss lazy days out with Tony, Pepper and Morgan too. 

Tony had gone over and above in making him feel welcome, going a step beyond what any person recovering from saving the universe should have.

But Peter could understand. He’d missed a lot in the past five years. Namely, the wriggling child in his arm.

“Rocket ship!” Morgan’s hands shoot up in front of her, Peter laughing again as swung her slightly. Morgan weighed next to nothing, but Peter adjusted his grip anyway - making sure to keep her steady as her hands moved in front of her. 

“You’re great at this. You think you want to be an astronaut when you get older?” He asks.

“Yep.”

Tony whirled around, Peter seeing the look of amusement on his face. 

“I thought you wanted to be a business woman, run a company like mom?”

“That too.” Morgan says diplomatically, as if Tony had asked the silliest question imaginable before saying, “Astronaut on the weekends.”

“Oh is that all?” Tony winked, Peter smirking as he gently set Morgan down - arriving at the picnic table and grill Tony had set up. 

It was just a hundred feet or so away from the cabin’s backdoor, a spot that overlooked the lake that made Peter feel at peace. 

It was quiet at the cabin, a calm that he relished if only because he still felt like he was adjusting back to the city - his trip to space having changed him in more ways than one. 

No one remembered the Blip, what happened in the time between. Peter coudn’t rightfully say that he did.

But at night, when he slept - he’d dream of noise, constant sounds and colors swirling everywhere and around. 

It was disorienting, making Peter feel disjointed anytime he woke up. 

Yet he never had that nightmare when he was at the cabin with Tony.

“You gonna hand me those or do you just want to stand and catch flies?” Tony’s voice brings Peter out of his thoughts, handing him the platter.

Morgan ran towards the lake, Tony calling out, “Hey, hey, watch it. Too close and I’ll sic Gerald after you.”

Morgan giggled, Peter smiling as he watched her.

Morgan was bright, fiercely funny and intense in a way that was both surprising and completely expected for the daughter of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. He liked being around her, learning more about her - even if there had been a small part of Peter that had wondered if he was still needed, if he was just in the way of Tony’s _actual_ family.

But then he’d catch Tony staring at him a beat too long - a look that he’s giving Peter just now - and it would hit him.

For Peter, the Blip had been seconds - moving from a spaceship to a battle to a hug in only minutes.

But for Tony, it had been five years - and Peter could see how much those years had changed him, not just with the existence of Morgan, but his own attention and care towards Peter.

“You alright, kid?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Just,” Peter glanced out over to Morgan and then to the water. “Enjoying the quiet. It’s nice, being out here.” 

Tony nodded back, putting hotdogs on the grill. “It’s a good place to retire, that’s for sure.” 

A comfortable silence falls between them, Peter pursing his lips as he sits down on the picnic table.

“Are you?”

“Hm?” Tony glances back to him, looking more at peace than Peter can ever remember seeing him. 

Tony had always been a mess of frenetic energy, a mixture of sleepless nights and multiple cups of coffee that had even made Peter’s head spin. 

But there’s a lightness to him now, a gentle rhythm to his life that makes Peter think that even if the snap that had saved the universe had almost killed him - that maybe it’s just what he needed, the push for Tony to finally _rest._

“Retired?” Peter asks, “I mean, I saw the garage. You still have a ton of suit material stuff in there.” 

Tony just hums in response, turning his attention back to the hotdogs. Peter would almost think he’s dismissing him until Tony speaks up again, glancing back to Peter.

“I like to tinker, but I’ll admit kid, any fight I had left the minute I got this.” Tony waved his mechanical arm around, flexing his finger as Peter gives him a half-smile.

“Besides, who needs Iron Man when the world’s got the _amazing_ Spider-Man?” 

Peter laughs. “You saw that? They’re making a comic book about me.”

“Saw it, pre-ordered it, already looking forward to making a shrine to it, kid.” 

Peter rolled his eyes, tilting his head before saying, “Retirement looks good on you, Mr. Stark.”

Tony just smiles in return, a gaze that reminds Peter of the look that he’d given him on the battlefield - right before pulling him into a fierce hug. 

Tony had never been much of a touchy feely person before - but this, along with many things, was a new normal that Peter would be glad to adjust to. 

“ _Happiness_ looks good on anyone, Pete. And sitting here with you, little miss over there planning world domination…” Tony’s gets a faraway look in his eye, faintly smiling before turning his eyes back to Peter. 

“There’s nothing more I could ever want.” 

* * *

The memory still rings in Peter’s mind as drives along the highway, MJ and Ned having moved on to some pop culture event that they’d missed.

It was still weird, adjusting to life after the Blip. Though Peter knows he shouldn’t be glad that both MJ and Ned had blipped - leaving their parents behind - he couldn’t help but feel grateful that he had the two of them by his side.

Walking back into step with Ned, a new relationship that felt anything but with MJ - it was as if the universe had given Peter a second chance, one he hadn’t even realized he needed.

Before the Blip, he’d been so eager to prove himself - to show that he was worthy of being a hero. 

But now, five years that passed in an instant - Peter realized that this time, he could be different. 

Tony almost died bringing him and the rest of the world back.

Peter didn’t feel worthy of it - but he knew he’d spend the rest of his life proving to Tony that he was.

The itch in the back of his neck suddenly turns into a full-fledged panic, terror immediately flooding Peter as his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“Peter?” MJ immediately notices the change, Ned still continuing his thought.

He doesn’t get the chance to.

Out of nowhere, they’re slammed - the impact of it so severe that Peter almost blacks out.

There’s screams, glass crashing and a shift in gravity.

Then silence.

* * *

He hears the radio first.

The rain still steadily falling on his face, Peter comes to with a gasp - wheezing as pain shoots through him.

He opens his eyes, glancing up at the dark sky above him.

He can’t move, he can’t feel his legs - though Peter isn’t sure if it’s because there’s something on him or if that was a sign of something worse. 

He goes to move his head to see only to feel like he’s been shocked, crying out as he leaned his head back.

Peter tries to get his bearings, tries to take a steady breath but there’s an immediate pressure on his chest, like he can’t take a full breath.

Peter’s been injured enough to know what a collapsed lung feels like, his mind wandering to what the lack of feeling in his legs could mean.

It’s then that Peter remembers that he wasn’t alone - that he was in a car with Ned and MJ.

_Oh God._

“MJ? MJ where are you?”

Silence - save for the steady rhythm of some jazz song on the radio, Peter remembering the last station Michelle had landed on.

“Ned? Ned, can you, where are—“ Peter’s voice is cut off with a hacking cough, panicking as his mouth starts to feel metallic.

_Okay. Okay. Think, Peter. Think._

Peter kicks himself for leaving his watch at home, the one specially made and gifted from Tony. It had been an afterthought, leaving it behind because of the proximity sensor - knowing that it would go off the closer they got to the cabin and spoil the surprise. 

Peter’s mind starts to blur, his thoughts slowing down as his breathing became more labored.

_Where are they? Why aren’t they answering?_

It’s a beat too long before Peter remembers his hearing, remembers his ability to listen - to hear beyond what any normal person can. 

It’d been a sense that he’d tried to subdue in the past few months, one that he hadn’t needed to flex much.

But now it’s like a lightning rod, a reminder that Peter’s not alone - that MJ and Ned could be in trouble, that they may need his help - even if Peter wonders how much help at the moment he could really be.

He closes his eyes, struggling to breathe as he wheezed. The back of his throat felt wet, Peter knowing the pool of wetness in his chest and around his head had less to do with the drizzle above him but of the blood pouring out of him. 

But as he closes his eyes, struggling to focus - Peter feels his breath quicken, a panic welling up. 

He hears the rain, hears the radio, can hear animals and cars far away.

But the thing he’s listening for - the only sounds he cares about, two heartbeats - he can’t hear at all.

Peter wants to panic, almost would if not for his inability to do anything but wheeze. 

“Ned? MJ? Are you, are you okay—“ Peter starts to violently cough again, pain shooting up his back and down his chest from the movement. 

He hears nothing in return, Peter feeling as if he’s been sucker-punched.

There should be at least three heartbeats surrounding him - Ned, MJ, and whoever it was that had hit them. 

Peter could’ve guessed from the impact that whoever it was had been long gone, crashing straight into Peter’s side of the vehicle so fast that even Peter’s reflexes hadn’t been enough to stop it. 

It doesn’t make sense to Peter’s addled brain, he should’ve stopped it, he should’ve—

Peter’s cut off by the wetness in the back of his throat, coughing up more blood as pain radiates through him.

The silence that he hears - save for the rain and the damn radio - is all the confirmation he needs.

The other driver, MJ, Ned - they’re gone. 

Peter is alone.

He gasps, his breathing weak as he glances up to the stars.

Peter had imagined his death more times than what was likely considered normal, a consequence of facing it almost daily as a superhero.

Death, the first time had been slow, a fading away that made his insides crumble. 

This time was different, infinitely more painful but faster, sensing with every breath that he took that a invisible timer was running out on him every time he did. 

Peter could feel it, the pull from this world to another. His mind wanders, the pain of leaving - knowing that MJ and Ned had already gone.

Looking up at the night sky, rain still falling softly on his face - Peter’s last thoughts went to May and Tony, a sadness that he’d never have the chance to say goodbye. 

Peter wheezes once more, closes his eyes.

_I’m sorry._

* * *

Tony hummed to himself, putting away the last of the dishes. It’s late, later than he’d planned on being up but Pepper had been waiting for a business call and Tony - though he had no interest in it - liked sitting with her.

It was a quiet night, peaceful - as most of his nights were now. 

He hears the phone ring in the other room, hears Pepper grab it as he closed the cabinet.

“This is Pepper.”

Tony walks towards the living room, grabbing a StarkPad as he goes to sit down. 

Pepper’s soft gasp makes him turn before he sits, searching for her face as Tony stills. 

The look on her face is one that he’d recognize anywhere - a signal that something was wrong.

The hair on the back of Tony’s neck raises, immediately going towards Pepper.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Pepper’s hand goes to her mouth, shaking her head in shock. Tony can hear crying on the other end, his eyes widening.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“I’ll, I’ll call back, Happy. I have to, I have to— I’ll call back, I promise. Tell May we’ll be there as soon as we can.” Pepper hangs up before he can answer, Tony immediately freezing. 

_May? What could—_

_Oh God._

“Pepper.”

“Tony,” she says, her voice wavering, “we should sit.”

“Pepper, tell me what happened.” Tony is poised, his good arm half-extended to call the suit - his stomach churning.

Happy would only call this late if something was wrong, if Peter needed help or was in trouble.

But there’s a desperation in Pepper’s face that causes Tony to panic, shaking his head as she tries to speak.

“Tony, it’s.. it’s Peter.”

“Tell me where he is. Let May know, I’m on my way, I’ll—“

Pepper’s hand gently goes to his shoulders, Tony’s breath hitching as Pepper seemed to steel herself.

Tony feels the panic in the back of his throat, the look on her face reminding him of how she’d looked when Morgan had broken her arm when he’d been out for groceries, a look that he knows means she’s bracing herself - and him - for something.

_No._

“Pepper.”

“Tony, Peter’s… Peter was in an accident.” Tony blinks, nodding his head.

“So tell me where he is. Which hospital, I’ll be there in—“

Pepper shakes her head, Tony seeing her lip slightly tremble.

“No. Tony, he— they found May’s car an hour ago. Peter and his friends, they were driving and there was an accident.”

The words don’t register with Tony, shaking his head. “Tell me where they are, Pepper, I’ll go—“

“ _Tony._ ” Pepper’s eyes plead with him, the sinking feeling in his stomach magnifying.

_No. No. No. No. No._

Pepper takes advantage of his silence, pushing forward.

“He’s gone.”

It’s immediate, crushing - an anguish that doesn’t register with Tony, an ache that threatens to consume him.

“He’s, he’s fine. He called yesterday, everything’s— everything’s fine.”

Pepper shakes her head, bringing a hand to his face. The tears in her eyes cause Tony’s own hands to shake, his throat constricting.

“Tony. I’m sorry.”

Pepper says nothing more but the darkness in her eyes, the desolation he knows is mirrored back is enough to bowl him over. 

It hits him - the look in Pepper’s eyes, the anguish of something he can’t begin to comprehend. 

Pepper wouldn’t lie to him. 

Neither does the ache in his gut, the feeling as if he’s sinking into a black hole. 

There is nothing that compares to the quick and sudden emptiness that consumes him. 

Flying a missile into space. The vision of his friends dead on a hilltop. 

Holding Peter as he faded away. 

Tony’s knees buckle as Pepper grabs him, a sharp gasp as he wheezes.

 _I brought him back._ _I brought them all back._

The grief is overwhelming, blinding - Tony feeling as if he’s been gutted from the inside out. 

His shoulders start to shake, a sob let out that he can’t stop.

It’s impossible, unimaginable - horrifying in a way his mind can’t comprehend.

Tony had risked everything to bring the universe - to bring _Peter_ \- back. He’d lost an arm, nearly lost his life.

But Peter returning had made the hole in his heart complete, a feeling that for once - he had been given a second chance at a happy ending.

But as his shoulders continue to shake, an agonizing wail coming out of him - Tony’s mind can’t wrap itself around this. 

There would be no recovering from this, nothing that would soothe or ease the pain of this loss. Tony had already lost an arm but now he feels as if he’s lost his entire body, succumbing to the endless waves of grief washing over him.

As Pepper holds him tight, rocking him back and forth, Tony feels nothing - everything and nothing in excruciating detail.

He didn’t know how, couldn’t wrap his head around why - but he knew in his soul that Pepper was telling the truth. 

Peter was gone. 

Peter was dead.

And Tony would never recover from this. 

**Author's Note:**

> If this looks familiar, it’s cause it is! Reposting my IronDad bingos for anyone who wants to bookmark stories separately.
> 
> Also... I’m sorry.


End file.
